Tonight Is Amateur Night

I have heard New Years Eve referred to as Amateur Night. "Why?" I asked. The reply was, "On this night many people who don't get drunk all year do so while celebrating this occasion. "Well if they are amateurs what constitutes being a professional?" A professional doesn't need a special once a year occasion to drink to excess. They will do it because their dog died, it's someone's birthday, it Labor day, it's Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday etc. It is their way of life. Drinking comes before family, friends and work. It becomes their full time job. It is how they deal with life and life's problems. They are blind to the fact that their drinking is adding to their list of troubles. It can't be. Booze is their friend. It's what makes it possible to get past the difficulties. They honestly believe that they wouldn't have most of their problems if people would only leave them alone. Like I said,blind.

For most of the evening revelers waking up New Year's Day with a hangover is about all they will suffer. Some will wake fearing the consequences of what they said. Some will feel embarrassed for what they did last night. A few will wake up in jail and other will wake in hospitals and some won't wake at all. Even amateurs can lose out big time. I wonder, is the changing of a number on the calendar worth the risk of overindulgence?

Happy New Year ?

New Year's Eve is coming along with the many celebration, parties and events. Every where I go I will be greeted with "Happy New Year". Most will have a joyful celebration as they watch the new year come in. For some the year will start off badly as a result of their excessive partying.

Growing up in my home this occasion was celebrated with revelry and drinking. Come to think of it, every occasion was celebrated with alcohol in my house. This is where I came to my definition of a social drinker as being one who drank, got drunk and if he or she did not cause a fight they were social drinkers. It never dawned on me that a true social drinker maybe has one or one and a half, two drinks at a party.

As a child I was often woken by loud and sometimes violent confrontations because of the excess drinking that took place. I grew up thinking that this was normal. The most often used excuse for the person causing the row was that they are just going through a bad time in their life. It seemed to me that some were having years of bad times. This happened so often that even today if I am woken by raised voices or a loud crash I am terror stuck for a moment of two.
So I guess you will understand it if I am one of those who choose to stay in the peace of my home and not give too much attention to the coming of the New Year. I will treat it just like any other day and hope that I can remember to write 07 and not 06 on my checks. Besides I like waking clear headed and remembering what I did the night before.

He Did The Unthinkable

Just about three hours after I posted my blog "Twas The Day After Christmas" I received a phone call from a friend. He was really upset with himself. He did the unthinkable. He drank himself into a blackout and in a drunken rage physically abused his wife enough to leave scratches on her neck. He kept repeating how sorry he was that he did that. He had never thought it possible. He called because in his guilt and remorse he was considering suicide. He was feeling physically ill and his thinking was clouded by what he drank the evening before. Most of all he was frightened that he had lost the woman he truly loved. He just wanted to die.

I listened to him and then pointed out that if he had not been drinking he would have never done such a thing. After a moment of silence he responded that it was very true. He just didn't understand what happened. While he had some trouble with drinking in his youth but in the years that followed he was able to have an occasional glass of wine in social situations without any problem what so ever. He could take it or leave it. Now after all these years he found himself drinking to excess two days in a row. He didn't realize it but he was on a drinking binge. I would venture to guess that if this incident with his wife had not happened he would still be on his drinking spree celebrating the holidays.

I'm predicting that with this spree he has crossed some invisible line where he can no longer drink safely. He can no longer guarantee his actions once he starts and if he continues to drink his binges will come at shorter intervals. His drinking will destroy everything he has built and take away all that is of value to him.

Now I am sure that while he is feeling remorseful and fearful he will not have too much if any difficulty in not drinking. The problem is in a relatively short span of time the guilt, remorse and fear will disappear. At the same time his resolve not to drink will weaken and he may even think that he was being too hard on himself. Surely they is no harm in having a glass of wine or two on social occasions. What happened back then was a fluke and would have never happened if his wife had raised her voice in anger to him. He is now in danger. It is almost inevitable that he will in a short time be off on another drinking spree. His life will continue to spiral downward is a series of drinking bouts and if he doesn't seek help his prospects will be either institutions or death.

I wonder if he will be able to get through the New Year celebrations without drinking. For his sake I hope that he can. I'd hate to see his life go down the tubes but only he can stop it.

T'is The Day After Christmas

There are some out there that will be facing this day after Christmas with shame and guilt because of what they did while under the influence of alcohol. Some will wake this morning not knowing what they said or did yesterday. That's okay, there is always someone more than willing to fill you in on what a fool you were and what a mess you made. If the guilt is too much you can relieve it by drinking more of the "hair of the dog" and of course there is always the often used method of denial and with a few mental gymnastics you can actually make it someone else's fault.

Now if your drunken antics ruined your family's holiday don't be too concerned continue on this course and you won't have a family that much longer. People can only take just so many broken promises and so much abuse before they don't want you around any more. You may believe that you are not hurting anyone but yourself, the thing is, this can only be true if you don't have a family, a job or a pet. Not to worry though, keep on this path and sooner or later it will be true.

Of course you just don't understand why everyone is so upset over the way you drink. You work all week and you do your part to pay the bills. What more do they want? So you are going through a rough period, it won't last, you'll make it up to them. Why can't they understand that you are under a lot of pressure and that if you didn't drink or drug you would go insane? So you acted a little crazy last night . No matter, you will fix the chair or table and replace the dishes you broke. And you really didn't mean to knock over the Christmas tree. You'll get a stronger stand for it next year.

Why can't they just leave you alone? Again I say don't worry it's only a matter of time before they do. When you think about it this might not be that bad an idea. That way you can drink as much as you want as often as you want. You will be free to drink yourself to into some state run facility or to death.

Then again, you can always do the unthinkable. You can accept that you have a problem and seek help.

To Christmas Or Not To Christmas?

Now what does Christmas mean to me? For one thing I do my best to stay away from the crowded stores. In this supposed season of good will people are often so stressed out that it doesn't take much to push them over the edge. Many are tired from all the running around from store to store looking for gifts and at the same time worried about how much they are spending on these gifts. I've overhead someone make the statement that this is the season of enforced giving. Some are giving but not because they really desire to give but because they are afraid of what others will think or say about them if they don't. They give because they believe everyone else is giving and don't want to risk being different. They give, often to the point of hurt, because they believe that is what they are suppose to do.

One thing is sure the merchants of our society need this season. Many show a loss all year long and depend on Christmas buying to turn a profit. I suspect that this nation's economy would fail without the frenzied buying that accompanies this end of the year holiday.

Then there are those who just don't have what is referred to as the Christmas spirit. They are just going through the motions pretending they do. They don't feel joyful or jolly in spite of all the media hype along with the sounds of the music created for this season. About the only thing they feel is tired. They just want it to be over.

Some believe that Christmas is a the day baby Jesus was born. Others know it is not and that it is just the continuation of Saturnalia an ancient Roman festival celebrated with revelry and gift giving yet still celebrate the day claiming no religious affiliation with it. Quite a few years ago after much research I made the decision that I was no longer going to observe this day. You know, I have not regretted doing so. I have been told that it is my Christian duty to celebrate this day. My response is show me in the Bible where it says to observe Christmas and I will.

Now if like me you were taught that the baby Jesus came to bring peace on earth I leave you with this quote from the adult Jesus: Mat 10:34 Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.

Twas The Nightmare After Christmas

Tis the season to be jolly. Now come February it will be the season to panic over how are we going to pay for being so jolly.

Growing up my mother always made a big deal over Christmas. She went all out with the decorations around both the house and yard. The tree couldn't be any tree. It had to be a perfect tree. One that usually had to have the bottom cut off to make room for it's crowning ornament which was a angel that had been in the family for longer than I could remember.

Christmas eve was the longest night of the year for us kids. We had to stay in our room unable to fall asleep because of the excitement brought on by anticipation. Lying on my bed in the dark hoping for sleep I could hear the revelry of the adults. I wished that I could be down there with them. After dozing off I would wake to silent darkness. Not able to get back to sleep I would stealthily make my way downstairs and marvel at all the toys and presents that were under the tree. Working my way back upstairs I would go wake my brothers and sister and together we would as quietly as we could go down and play with the toys that were not wrapped. As much as we may have wished to unwrapping our gifts without our mom being present was a no no. After waiting for what seemed like an eternity we would go up to wake our mom.

In her presence we would tear into our gifts with much excitement and joy. Later that day I would experience a strange phenomenon. I would feel a sense of let down. Some how this morning did not live up to the pre Christmas hype. It was a feeling of "is that all there is?" Every year the same thing. I just figured that there was something uniquely wrong with me. It wasn't until I was a married adult that I discovered others felt the same.

Come February and March our household would face the hidden cost of Christmas. You see, money that was suppose to pay things like fuel oil and electricity was spent on gifts and like clockwork every year one or both of them would be cut off and we would end up spending a couple of weeks by candle light and wearing our winter clothing to bed as we shivered ourselves to sleep in the dark. Ho Ho Ho

Is It or Isn't It A War On Terrorism?

Do not refer to what is going on in Iraq as a war on terrorism. In fact quit using that term all together. It might offend the Muslims. This is what Tony Blair the prime minister of England has been told. "Political correctness again".

Question: How can a phrase like "War on Terrorism" offend peace loving Muslims or Hindus or Christians? To my way of thinking about the only people it would offend are the terrorist. Because if we are aware that there is a war being carried on by bands of gangsters hiding behind religion we might stay alert enough to actually foil their murderous plots. These power hungry monsters are using religious fervor and fear to stir up hatred and turmoil. They have become very adept at using mass media as a weapon to demoralize our resistant's. They play on our weakness a degenerating sense of morality which is making cowards of us. Lets face it, before we can firmly stand up for what is right we need to know what is right. It appears to me that we as a nation has lost it's way. We as a people are stumbling around in confusion. We are no longer sure what we believe. Our enemies know this is a war of wills and because our values are clouded and our moral code is ill defined we are losing the will to win. Here we are the most powerful nation on earth and we are backing away from groups of terrorists. There is One who has said "I will break the pride of your power."? This appears to be exactly what is happening.

Political Correctness

Last week I was watching the Glenn Beck show. He attacked the concept of political correctness. He traced it back to the Soviet Union where if one didn't speak in accordance to the party line they were taken away for re-education or worse. This political correct thing has always struck me as out and out censorship. It is the book burning of our society.
I'm not in favor of intentionally speaking derogatory things about any segment of our population. But to live in fear of offending someone unintentionally just can't be healthy. Have we become so thin skinned that we can be crushed with words. Or is it we have become so greedy for power or money that we are looking for reasons to quickly run for an attoney. This political correctness thing is creating secret monsters. People are bottling up resentments over perceived slights and even prejudices so much so that they are walking around with their guts churning and like a volcano they are ready to erupt. Recently on the news there was two incidence where famous people let loose a tirade of bigoted statements. One is known to have done so while under the influence of alcohol. I don't know if it was so for the other. The news media played these up big time. One would think that there was nothing else of importance happening int the world. I have no doubt that these two incedences are just the tip of the iceberg.
Now to those who believe that they are the injured party how come we have given so much power away. How is it we can be crushed by what some jerk says. Before I have the society for jerks beating down my door let me give you my definition of a jerk. One is behaving like a jerk when they open their mouth before engaging their brain. Unfortunately I have been guilty of such on many occasions. Hey, maybe I could start a chapter of The Jerks of America in my area. We could get T-shirts and hold meetings and even have parades. Lets face it if we come out in the open we would probably make the evening news just about every day. Can you picture it? Jerks on both sides of every social issue clashing in the streets. Throwing rocks and bottles and hitting those of the opposite opinion with our signs. Tell me , would that be called political incorrectness?
Now that I think about it I am wondering if it is the fear of being accused of being politically incorrect that has made cowards of our political leaders. Oh, by the way, who is it that decides what is politically correct?

Not Being Liked

If I am honest with myself I have to admit that I want to be liked by all. My experience in life tells me that just isn't going to happen. Yet it is something I desire. Now at first this desire might seem like a good idea but when I look at it carefully I discovered it is not. One reason it is not is that it makes me fearful of exposing myself. You know, it's the “if I allow you to know me you won't like me", thing. This fear caused me to be shallow in my thinking and my commitment to any moral code. I was nothing more than an actor, or a politician. I became so broad minded that I was shallow. Fear of "What will they think" and "what will they say" caused me to hide any uniqueness I may have had. That is until the day I was asked, exactly who are "they"? As I thought about it I realized that I didn't know. I concluded that the "They” was a metaphor for the unknown. I was afraid of the unknown. Am I just rambling or has anyone out there battled with this problem?

One Election Down Another To Come

Having recently coming through an election and listening to many speeches and sound bites it seems to me that our politicians are more actors than they are leaders. They have research teams that gather information on what public opinion is on any given issue and then they have speech writers who craft speeches to target the audiences demographics and then they play to the crowd. I believe that is why we often hear one thing at one rally and this very candidate expounding the apposite stance at another. I suspect that they have prepared speeches coming out in favor of both sides of every issue. It seems to me that our politician don't believe in anything other than getting elected. These so called leaders don't come out on what they believe they tell us what their research says we want to hear and we fall for it. They don't give us solutions they just shout accusations against the opposing candidates. They have no qualms about promising us the world because I suspect that in most cases they have no intention of carrying through on any of them. What frightens me is that it is said that our leaders are a reflection of ourselves.