Happy New Year ?

New Year's Eve is coming along with the many celebration, parties and events. Every where I go I will be greeted with "Happy New Year". Most will have a joyful celebration as they watch the new year come in. For some the year will start off badly as a result of their excessive partying.

Growing up in my home this occasion was celebrated with revelry and drinking. Come to think of it, every occasion was celebrated with alcohol in my house. This is where I came to my definition of a social drinker as being one who drank, got drunk and if he or she did not cause a fight they were social drinkers. It never dawned on me that a true social drinker maybe has one or one and a half, two drinks at a party.

As a child I was often woken by loud and sometimes violent confrontations because of the excess drinking that took place. I grew up thinking that this was normal. The most often used excuse for the person causing the row was that they are just going through a bad time in their life. It seemed to me that some were having years of bad times. This happened so often that even today if I am woken by raised voices or a loud crash I am terror stuck for a moment of two.
So I guess you will understand it if I am one of those who choose to stay in the peace of my home and not give too much attention to the coming of the New Year. I will treat it just like any other day and hope that I can remember to write 07 and not 06 on my checks. Besides I like waking clear headed and remembering what I did the night before.

He Did The Unthinkable

Just about three hours after I posted my blog "Twas The Day After Christmas" I received a phone call from a friend. He was really upset with himself. He did the unthinkable. He drank himself into a blackout and in a drunken rage physically abused his wife enough to leave scratches on her neck. He kept repeating how sorry he was that he did that. He had never thought it possible. He called because in his guilt and remorse he was considering suicide. He was feeling physically ill and his thinking was clouded by what he drank the evening before. Most of all he was frightened that he had lost the woman he truly loved. He just wanted to die.

I listened to him and then pointed out that if he had not been drinking he would have never done such a thing. After a moment of silence he responded that it was very true. He just didn't understand what happened. While he had some trouble with drinking in his youth but in the years that followed he was able to have an occasional glass of wine in social situations without any problem what so ever. He could take it or leave it. Now after all these years he found himself drinking to excess two days in a row. He didn't realize it but he was on a drinking binge. I would venture to guess that if this incident with his wife had not happened he would still be on his drinking spree celebrating the holidays.

I'm predicting that with this spree he has crossed some invisible line where he can no longer drink safely. He can no longer guarantee his actions once he starts and if he continues to drink his binges will come at shorter intervals. His drinking will destroy everything he has built and take away all that is of value to him.

Now I am sure that while he is feeling remorseful and fearful he will not have too much if any difficulty in not drinking. The problem is in a relatively short span of time the guilt, remorse and fear will disappear. At the same time his resolve not to drink will weaken and he may even think that he was being too hard on himself. Surely they is no harm in having a glass of wine or two on social occasions. What happened back then was a fluke and would have never happened if his wife had raised her voice in anger to him. He is now in danger. It is almost inevitable that he will in a short time be off on another drinking spree. His life will continue to spiral downward is a series of drinking bouts and if he doesn't seek help his prospects will be either institutions or death.

I wonder if he will be able to get through the New Year celebrations without drinking. For his sake I hope that he can. I'd hate to see his life go down the tubes but only he can stop it.

T'is The Day After Christmas

There are some out there that will be facing this day after Christmas with shame and guilt because of what they did while under the influence of alcohol. Some will wake this morning not knowing what they said or did yesterday. That's okay, there is always someone more than willing to fill you in on what a fool you were and what a mess you made. If the guilt is too much you can relieve it by drinking more of the "hair of the dog" and of course there is always the often used method of denial and with a few mental gymnastics you can actually make it someone else's fault.

Now if your drunken antics ruined your family's holiday don't be too concerned continue on this course and you won't have a family that much longer. People can only take just so many broken promises and so much abuse before they don't want you around any more. You may believe that you are not hurting anyone but yourself, the thing is, this can only be true if you don't have a family, a job or a pet. Not to worry though, keep on this path and sooner or later it will be true.

Of course you just don't understand why everyone is so upset over the way you drink. You work all week and you do your part to pay the bills. What more do they want? So you are going through a rough period, it won't last, you'll make it up to them. Why can't they understand that you are under a lot of pressure and that if you didn't drink or drug you would go insane? So you acted a little crazy last night . No matter, you will fix the chair or table and replace the dishes you broke. And you really didn't mean to knock over the Christmas tree. You'll get a stronger stand for it next year.

Why can't they just leave you alone? Again I say don't worry it's only a matter of time before they do. When you think about it this might not be that bad an idea. That way you can drink as much as you want as often as you want. You will be free to drink yourself to into some state run facility or to death.

Then again, you can always do the unthinkable. You can accept that you have a problem and seek help.