He Did The Unthinkable

Just about three hours after I posted my blog "Twas The Day After Christmas" I received a phone call from a friend. He was really upset with himself. He did the unthinkable. He drank himself into a blackout and in a drunken rage physically abused his wife enough to leave scratches on her neck. He kept repeating how sorry he was that he did that. He had never thought it possible. He called because in his guilt and remorse he was considering suicide. He was feeling physically ill and his thinking was clouded by what he drank the evening before. Most of all he was frightened that he had lost the woman he truly loved. He just wanted to die.

I listened to him and then pointed out that if he had not been drinking he would have never done such a thing. After a moment of silence he responded that it was very true. He just didn't understand what happened. While he had some trouble with drinking in his youth but in the years that followed he was able to have an occasional glass of wine in social situations without any problem what so ever. He could take it or leave it. Now after all these years he found himself drinking to excess two days in a row. He didn't realize it but he was on a drinking binge. I would venture to guess that if this incident with his wife had not happened he would still be on his drinking spree celebrating the holidays.

I'm predicting that with this spree he has crossed some invisible line where he can no longer drink safely. He can no longer guarantee his actions once he starts and if he continues to drink his binges will come at shorter intervals. His drinking will destroy everything he has built and take away all that is of value to him.

Now I am sure that while he is feeling remorseful and fearful he will not have too much if any difficulty in not drinking. The problem is in a relatively short span of time the guilt, remorse and fear will disappear. At the same time his resolve not to drink will weaken and he may even think that he was being too hard on himself. Surely they is no harm in having a glass of wine or two on social occasions. What happened back then was a fluke and would have never happened if his wife had raised her voice in anger to him. He is now in danger. It is almost inevitable that he will in a short time be off on another drinking spree. His life will continue to spiral downward is a series of drinking bouts and if he doesn't seek help his prospects will be either institutions or death.

I wonder if he will be able to get through the New Year celebrations without drinking. For his sake I hope that he can. I'd hate to see his life go down the tubes but only he can stop it.